2007年3月10日 星期六

What's the difference between men and women...

The Husband Store -

A store that sells new husbands has just opened in town, where a woman may go to choose a husband. So, a woman goes to the Husband Store to shop for a husband. At the entrance she finds a description of how the store operates: You may visit this store ONLY ONCE!
There are six floors and the value of the product increases as the shopper ascends the flights. The shopper may choose any item from a particular floor, or may choose to go up to the next floor, but cannot go back down except to exit the building.
On the first floor the sign on the door reads: Floor 1 - These men Have Jobs.
The shopper proceeds to the second floor, where the sign reads: Floor 2 - These men Have Jobs and Love Kids.
The shopper proceeds to the third floor, where the sign reads: Floor 3 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, and are Extremely Good Looking.
"Wow," she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going. She goes to the fourth floor and the sign reads: Floor 4 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Good Looking and Help with Housework.
"Oh, mercy me!" she exclaims, "I can hardly stand it!" Still, she goes to the fifth floor and the sign reads: Floor 5 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Gorgeous, Help with Housework, and Have a Strong Romantic Streak.
She is so tempted to stay, but she goes on to the sixth floor and the sign reads: Floor 6 - You are visitor 31,456,012 to this floor. There are no men on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please. Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store. Please proceed to the exit.

To avoid being accused of gender bias, the store's owner also opened a Wife Store just across the street with the same store policy.
The first floor has wives that love sex.
The second floor has wives that love sex and have money.

The third through sixth floors have never been visited.

13 則留言:

Bikerdoc65 提到...

I had a friend trying to brag about his success in trading penny stocks in the neighborhood of 20K and 30K shares a shot to his newly met girl friend back in the 90's.
She replied: I own some thing like 30K shares too.
He asked: What do you own?
She said:GM.
He told me that he almost passed out.

haha... I guess that she is going for the 6th floor.

Cinderella 提到...

According to this message, all men are the same. Is this true? Did you set those as your criteria when you got married?

Bikerdoc65 提到...

Hi Sue,
Nope, not all men or women are the same, of course. Those two criteria for men are designed as a joke for male bashing only. LOL

Did I set any criteria? HMMMM... it is a good question. I was only looking for a mate for life, as I can recall. I have had no regret.

What 沉魚落雁 said was that she stopped and shopped at the 5th floor. We are waiting for 長空飛劍's comment. hehe

wandering65 提到...

I don't get your story, biker. What is GM?

長空飛劍65 提到...

我沒得到您的故事, 騎自行車的人。 什麼是GM ?

The above is from Free on-line translation:
http://www1.worldlingo.com/en/products_services/worldlingo_translator.html

btw, GM = general motor company (通用汽車公司)

長空飛劍65 提到...

首先聲明:我跟 biker 完全一樣,一點也沒有後悔...

這個短文道盡人間心酸,找對象嘛就是要一頭栽進去,想太多的話那誰還敢結婚?!
又不能像挑桃子一樣,先捏一捏再決定要不要買。買了後要退貨那更是麻煩。
有時想到像西方人一樣分分合合,也是理所當然,可是再怎麼換,雞蛋裡挑骨頭也不見的比原配好到哪裡。
所以我說嘛 婚前睜大眼,婚後閉著眼,不就得了。

wandering65 提到...

you have a wise and straightforward wife, lucky you 長空.

tofu 提到...

沉魚落雁,我猜你一定是在五樓看到長空飛劍就將他買回家了. 真是個聰明的女士.

事實上,妳登的這則並不是笑話,真的有這家店,而且不只有六樓, 在六樓上還有一個小閣樓.

在這小閣樓上,也有一個sign,上面寫著 : 1.上了這閣樓,時間將前進30年; 2.本樓的男人都有五樓男人的特性,有工作,愛小孩,超帥,也很羅曼第克,但都是人家用過,還不知道是否還堪用的老男人.

這些人身上還掛有名牌, 如 '放了五十幾年的老豆腐', '在天上亮了五十幾年的老star', '騎了五十幾年雞車的bikerdoc(對不起,實在不清楚他騎的是機車,還是養雞場的雞車)', '被磨了五十幾年,會發亮的老石頭,有大,小兩塊', '跑錯地方,送錯禮物,50幾年回不了北極的聖誕老人hohoho'....當然也包含一個叫什麼,飛了50幾年也飛不上天的"短空不飛劍"....這一堆老男人(有些是骯髒的老男人)都放在這小閣樓上.

對了在這小閣樓的sign,下面若仔細看,還有一行小字寫著, 這些老男人都遵守”賤夫守則”中的 ”老婆是天上掉下來的禮物, 一定要好好珍惜,不論如何都不可以拋棄 ”, 且都如騎機車所說的 ”as I can recall. I have had no regret.”因此都是非賣品.

不過在這小行字下面, 還有更小的字,上面寫著 : 賤夫守則中, 好像沒有寫可不可以偷吃, 因此如要 ”短期租借” 不再此限.

只可惜幾十年來, 好像都沒有哪個聰明漂亮的女士, 來到那小閣樓. 可惜啊!可惜!

沈魚落雁 提到...

豆腐啊!"這一堆老男人" 都是 "婚後閉著眼",自己的行為能力都有點問題了..hehe..還想要偷吃?!(嘿...別生氣...我的意思是"家事"都忙不完了,那管得了別人. 男人不都只上一或二樓嗎?) 幾十年來, 當然有聰明漂亮的女士, 來到那小閣樓,只可惜啊!探了一下頭,就歎然而去.

Bikerdoc65 提到...

They don't know what they missed. lol

tofu 提到...

yeah, i agree

沈魚落雁 提到...

少臭美了,要真有人要”短期租借”這些老男人就會兩腿發抖,不知所措呢!

Bikerdoc65 提到...

Little Davie attended a horse auction with his father. He watched as his father moved from horse to horse, running his hands up and down the horse's legs, rump, and chest. After a few minutes, Davie asked, "Dad, why are you doing that?"



His father replied, "Because when I'm buying horses, I have to make sure that they are healthy and in good shape before I buy."



Davie, looking worried, said, "Dad, I think the UPS guy wants to buy Mom."